Vegas Spas

There was a time when Vegas was about the Rat Pack. Then it was about bachelor parties. And then it was about Holly Madison‘s Peepshow on the Strip. Well, now it’s about spas.

1) The Strip has put a lot of time and money into creating “daylife” (for those of you who are really up on these things, it’s been around since at least 2008). Anyway, “daylife” is what happens when you want to drink 1-liter mojitos in giant sippy cups while doing the white man’s overbite at 11 a.m. This happens at places like Liquid, Aria’s pool/club and Azure at The Venetian. It also means you can enjoy a champagne spray at Nikki Beach Club at three in the afternoon.

2) Spas are manly now. And no, we don’t mean the kind of massage you have to be careful to avoid when you’re in Bangkok with the wife and kids. We mean facials. Body scrubs. Back facials (yes, really). Peels. Airbrush tanning (OK, now we’re kidding).

Here are the very manliest spa treatments in Vegas.

No.5 Gentleman’s Facial at Canyon Ranch

Barbershops and hot towels may still have the market corned on pore-opening bliss, but Canyon Ranch, the Zen-like spa in The Venetian, offers a Gentleman’s Facial that’s not too shabby. It involves “clean-smelling products,” some blackhead-popping, and lots of nice poking and prodding.

No.4 Russian Deep Tissue Massage at Reliquary

If you spent too long at the gym buffing up for your poolside vacation, never fear. The Russian Deep Tissue Massage ($215/80 minutes) will subdue those insanely bulging muscles. It hurts, but in a good way. If you’re really feeling courageous, you can go for the Russian Bania Ritual ($275/100 minutes). It includes a rigorous hot scrub. Plus, Reliquary (the spa at the Hard Rock Hotel) has coed baths, couples massages and a room specifically designed to teach pole dancing to whooping bachelorettes.

No.3 Ultimate Hand & Foot Indulgence at Vdara

Hand & Foot Indulgence doesn’t sound very manly.” But you’d be surprised. After nearly half an hour of scrubbing and rubbing in a poolside cabana (they also put cold stones between your toes, which is much more fun than it ought to be: $65/25 minutes), we could have taken on Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquaio.

Pop next door to the Cosmopolitan afterward and take a look at the pillars in the lobby. The video screens embedded in them are like something out of Blade Runner.

No.2 Signature Stone Massage at The Bellagio

OK, so if you’re feeling a need to prove yourself, you can get the Athlete’s Revival, which also involves stones (plus stretching, pressure point triggering and Cryoderm gel: $225/80 minutes). But the pure, blissful simplicity of the Signature Stone massage left us speechless ($175/50 minutes; $250/80 minutes). Basically, a woman pushes hot rocks all over your back, and you feel better than you did when the Packers won the Super Bowl.

No.1 Qua Baths at Caesars Palace

We can testify that the New-Age-y Mojave Rain treatment is pretty toe-tingling (lots of oils, some Native-American-inspired sage “smudging” and a massage in a million: $210/75 minutes), but the Roman-style baths in Caesars Palace really take the cake ($45/day). At Qua Baths, there are whirlpool-waterfalls, heated lounge chairs, a cedar-infused sauna, a eucalyptus-infused steam room, an “Arctic Ice Room,” and a special barber room where you can get a hot lather and straight-razor shave (from $60). It was so good, it almost made us forget that sitting-in-the-sauna-with-our-bros awkwardness.